how long does it take?

how long does it take

for eyes to lose their shine?

before or after the anxiety hits?

and i'm laying on the floor 

with fresh tear tracks 

staining cherry cheeks that

 never take compliments well.

when did this become a chore?

to practice my 'hello, how are you?'s

in a mirror that has become familiar 

with the smiles i show the world,

while on the inside i'm stuck in the quiet

that always leads to burning in my lungs.

why is this now second nature;

the feeling i get when i say i'm fine?

a rush to the gut 

as dismissal flashes across your face,

and the conversation continues.

how long does it take

for eyes to lose their shine?

i guess as long as it takes 

for you to look away.