brain matter (an ode to three am)

3 am feels like home.

a coin toss between a silver lining

or an all-time low.

the author of my loudest fears

and my brightest colors.

a safety net in the dark

that you’ll find me in.

the best and worst of me 

meet in the middle

like a duel set at dawn.

my fears come to life inside my brain 

and they ask “are the colors in the sky no longer your favorite?”

before i hit the rocks at the bottom.

there is comfort in the stillness.

a gasp of air echoes under starlight

and i am a homebody shrouded in its warmth.

the darkest lows linger in the quiet.

i am unsure if i am real or a dream,

but the ticking holds me in its clutches

and i know that i am alive, just.

3 am is neither friend nor foe,

yet i yearn for it all the same.

(ALSO PUBLISHED on Harness Magazine)